


I'm Begging you for Mercy (Why Won't you Release Me)

by AYeti



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, F/F, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, slight angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-07
Updated: 2021-01-07
Packaged: 2021-03-17 17:20:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,339
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28603590
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AYeti/pseuds/AYeti
Summary: In a lab accident where Winn and Lena make a vital miscalculation, Lena ends up under the spell of the Black Mercy.Kara enters the world in Lena's head in an attempt to bring her back to reality, but with their history, Kara isn't sure if she'll have enough time, especially not when she finds her doppelganger treating Lena the way Lena had always deserved.
Relationships: Kara Danvers/Lena Luthor
Comments: 9
Kudos: 301





	I'm Begging you for Mercy (Why Won't you Release Me)

Kara burst through the door of the med bay of the DEO and gasped at the sight in front of her.

Lena lay upon the table unconscious, which was scary in itself, but even more frightening was the tentacled, flower-like virus that clung to Lena’s chest. The smile on Lena’s face told of a fantasy life that, in comparison to Lena’s actual reality, had to be better. 

“What happened?” Kara gasped as she approached and Alex put a comforting hand on her shoulder while Winn grimaced and fiddled with some tech. 

“We thought if we could isolate a compound of the Black Mercy that creates such vivid fantasies for people, we might be able to weaponize it in the field,” Winn explained and Kara gaped at him.

“You wanted to spread an _alien virus_ across National City?” Kara cried.

“No, no!” Alex grabbed both of Kara’s shoulders and leveled her with a calming look. “They wanted to create a compound to gas our opponents to calm them, that’s all. It would have been harmless.” 

“Looks like it!” Kara shouted and gestured to Lena and stood a little straighter as her resolve hardened. Lena needed her and Kara would be there for her. “Okay. What do you need me to do? I’m going in there. I’ll get her back. I need to get her back.” 

“That’s why we called you,” Alex said and gestured to the bed beside Lena’s. “We need you to lay down here.”

As antsy as Kara felt, she lay down anyway. Whatever it took to save Lena. Kara couldn't lose her when they were just starting to be friends again. 

“She hasn’t been under too long, but…” Winn trailed off as he prepared a small, white device. “Well, you know what her real life is like. It might be hard to get her back and you only get one chance, Kara.” 

“I only need one.” Kara stared resolutely at Winn and Alex. Sure, she couldn’t fight this problem with her fists like she normally did, but she’d do anything for Lena. Anything. 

“Good. Lay back. I’m gonna put this on your forehead and you’ll be in her world soon.” Winn explained and Kara did as she was told. 

* * *

Kara woke up in her bedroom. Which was odd because she was pretty sure she was supposed to be saving Lena.

_Lena!_

Kara sat up from the bed and listened. 

Lena’s steady heartbeat pounded from the other side of the wall, so Kara used her x-ray vision to see through to the rest of her apartment. It was all exactly the same. The same string lights were hung across the windows, the same pictures stuck on the fridge, the same plants struggled in a permanent stasis between life and death. The only thing different was Lena. 

Lena sat at the table with a plethora of gadgets and blueprints strewn about the surface. She fiddled with a tiny screwdriver and squinted through the glasses she wore as she mumbled about the invention under her breath, occasionally taking notes or making adjustments to the small device she held.

Kara could have cried. Lena hadn’t been to her apartment in weeks, and seeing her there made Kara’s breath catch. 

Her apartment had always felt a bit more like home when Lena was in it.

Kara was quick to frown in confusion.

All Lena wanted was to build things in Kara’s apartment? That seemed odd, but easy enough to coerce Lena out of. As soon as Kara went to confront Lena, the front door of the apartment opened and Lena smiled more openly than Kara had seen in months, though Lena remained focused on her work. 

“I brought your favourite!” Kara, or rather Wrong Kara, said as she walked through the front door and held up a paper bag. 

“Potstickers are _your_ favourite, Kara,” Lena responded with a smile. She didn’t even need to look up to know what Kara had brought. If Kara wasn’t there to pull Lena from this world, she might’ve smiled at Lena’s forced disinterest. 

“You’re my favourite,” Wrong Kara said as she placed the food down on the counter and kissed the side of Lena’s head. Lena hummed in acknowledgment but continued to work on her tiny invention. It was how they used to be together, with something more that Kara couldn’t identify. “You need to eat, Lena. You’ve been working too much.” 

“It’s not work if I enjoy it,” Lena singsonged back, but it was clear she was trying to tease Wrong Kara, who glowered. 

“I guess I’ll just have to eat everything, then. Alone. By myself. All the way over there in the living room, where you are not. Including all the springrolls,” Wrong Kara teased and Lena dropped her equipment with a huff. 

“Don’t you dare!” Lena chuckled out and followed Wrong Kara to the couch after setting down her work. “It’s your turn to pick a movie, darling.”

“Oh! Wizard of Oz?” Wrong Kara exclaimed and Lena smiled as she sat down next to her. 

“Whatever makes you happy,” Lena said and Wrong Kara smiled before she leaned in to casually kiss Lena on the cheek. Really close to her mouth.

Kara gaped at the show of affection. Her stomach fluttered when Lena called Wrong Kara darling and then lurched because Lena would never say that to Kara in real life. Kara had ruined any chance of that.

Wrong Kara turned on the TV and Kara heard a small news speel about L-Corp slowly but surely gaining the public’s trust with its advancements in health and its contributions to National City charities. It wasn’t perfect, but it was a little better than the real world. 

This was Lena’s fantasy world? 

All Lena wanted was a small chance to be redeemed in the public's eyes, to invent things in Kara’s apartment, and to make Kara happy? It was so little. It was so much less than what Lena deserved.

Kara was torn between feeling honored that she was part of what was needed to make Lena so happy, and sad that this kind of life was all Lena thought she could have. This basic, domestic life was the happiest thing Lena could imagine? 

As Wrong Kara sat back on the couch, Kara gaped as Lena immediately laced their fingers together and snuggled into Wrong Kara as if she’d done it a thousand times. As if she was content to do it a thousand more. When Lena ducked her head to kiss the skin just below Wrong Kara's ear, real Kara flushed and decided it was ample time she put a stop to things.

Kara couldn’t let this go on any further. 

For a split second, Kara worried that in Lena’s fantasy world, Wrong Kara wouldn’t be Supergirl, but as she stepped out from behind the curtain, Lena’s growing eyes put that anxiety to bed. 

“Lena?” Kara said as she stood in her supersuit. Lena gaped at her. 

“Kara?” Lena looked between the two Karas. The one clad in the supersuit that represented every lie that ever occurred in their relationship, and the cardigan clad Kara, who held Lena’s hand and took care of her. 

Kara’s heart broke. 

She was never able to tell Lena how she felt. She wasn’t even able to tell Lena who she was and it almost tore them apart.

“That’s not me, Lena, and I’m so sorry that it’s not. I could never be that brave,” Kara said as a tear ran down her cheek. 

“I don’t understand,” Lena said as she looked to the Wrong Kara for an explanation. 

“Don’t listen to her. I love you, Lena. She’s trying to confuse you,” Wrong Kara said as she wrapped her arm around Lena’s shoulders. “Tell her to leave us alone.” 

“No, Lena, please listen to me!” Kara said as she took a step closer. “I’m sorry that in our world people don’t see past your last name... but I do. I’m sorry nobody else knows how much you love spring rolls, but I do. I’m sorry- I’m sorry that I was never brave enough to tell you how much you mean to me, or how much I love you, Lena… but I do.” Kara cried slightly as she tried to convince Lena, who looked torn between both Karas. 

“I just want a chance and honesty,” Lena said as she looked at Wrong Kara, who smiled at her.

“I know… and I couldn’t even give you that,” Kara said as she stepped a little closer. 

“Why would you listen to her when I make you so happy?” Wrong Kara said as she caressed Lena’s cheek. 

“L-Lena, please. I know you want to listen to her, but she isn’t me. I’m not that perfect. I hurt you, National City hurt you. But we also need you, so I’m going to need you to listen to me,” Kara pleaded, though Lena wasn’t looking at her. Lena raised her hand and placed it over Wrong Kara’s where she still cupped Lena’s cheek. Lena searched Wrong Kara’s face while Kara continued to plead. “Lena, please. You’re always there when we need you to be. It’s who you are. If you can help, you will, and I need you to help me now.”

“Why did you tell me you were Supergirl when we first met?” Lena asked and Wrong Kara smiled at her. 

“I would never lie to you. I trust you with everything. My secrets, my life… my heart,” she said and a single tear escaped Lena’s eye as she pressed her forehead against Wrong Kara’s. 

“I wish that were true,” Lena whispered and her grip on Wrong Kara’s hand loosened as she stood from the couch. 

“Lena? Please don’t leave, I love you!” Wrong Kara said as she reached for Lena, but Lena didn’t respond. She winced slightly at the words but was quick to put on her mask of stoic indifference, though Kara still saw the tears in her eyes. 

“I’m sorry,” Lena said as she approached Kara and Kara pulled her into a hug.

“I’m sorry too,” Kara whispered as the world around them dissolved. 

* * *

Kara gasped as she sat up in bed and immediately looked over to Lena, who remained laying down as she tried to keep her breathing in check. Her face turned away from Alex and Winn in an attempt to hide the tears that threatened to fall.

“Lena!” Winn gushed as he put his hand on her forearm and the Black Mercy eased off of her body and turned to ash on the floor. “What happened? Are you okay?” Lena’s chin quivered slightly and she closed her eyes to fight the tears. 

“Can you give us a minute?” Kara said to Winn and Alex, who glanced between them. Winn squeezed Lena’s hand and did not leave until Lena looked at him and nodded. Kara was glad they had become such good friends. They had a lot in common, and Winn had helped Lena learn that just because she came from people who had done terrible things, she herself didn’t have to be bad. 

“Call if you need us,” Alex implored and Kara nodded before they left the room, leaving Lena and Kara alone in utter silence.

“What made you believe me?” Kara asked. 

“I could never deserve that,” Lena said blankly. Kara’s heart clenched. She remembered how hard it had been after the Black Mercy had made her lose Krypton all over again. “And we could never be that honest with each other, now could we?”

“Lena, I-”

“Please, don’t,” Lena whispered and closed her eyes to the pain. “I’m sorry for what you saw. I know it’s not what you want, especially after everything I’ve done. I know I don’t deserve that kind of life, Kara, I _know_. So please just… don’t.” A tear rolled down Kara’s cheek at the ones Lena still tried so hard not to shed. How could Lena believe she didn’t deserve such a life? It wasn’t even close to half of the good that Lena deserved. 

“I wasn’t lying, Lena,” Kara said as she removed the device from her head and got off the bed. She walked across the room and grasped Lena’s forearm, though Lena kept her eyes closed. “I know you’re probably embarrassed because of what I saw, and maybe you won’t believe me because I wasn’t always honest, but I meant every word I said in there.” Kara choked up as she spoke and Lena opened her eyes. 

“I don’t understand,” she whispered. But Kara knew that the smartest person in the world had to have understood. She just didn’t believe it. 

“Being Supergirl isn’t the only thing I kept from you, and your friendship wasn’t the only thing I was scared of losing,” Kara admitted.

Kara had seen the look on Lena’s face enough to know what it meant. She knew Lena’s squinted eyes were mistrustful, and the clench of her jaw meant she was guarded. Kara had seen Lena give most of National City that look, but Kara’d never seen it directed at her. 

She knew she deserved it. 

She continued anyway.

“Every word I said in there was true. I’m not perfect and I hurt you, and I’m so, so sorry that I did. I meant it when I said I was never brave enough to tell you how I feel,” Kara choked out. "But I want to be brave now."

“You said you loved me,” Lena murmured as if that was the most confusing statement she’d ever heard. As if she couldn’t believe it. 

“And I do,” Kara said and Lena finally let a couple of tears fall. “I’m done hiding that from you. I’m done hiding everything from you. Losing you is not worth the risk of hiding, and I’m sorry it took me so long to learn that. I know you probably don’t like _me_ me back, because of everything I’ve done, and that’s okay because the kind of Kara you deserve is even more than the one I saw in there.” 

“You’re wrong,” Lena said as she sat up and held one of Kara’s hands. “You’re not perfect and you made mistakes. I made mistakes too. We hurt each other. I’m not perfect either, but it’s like you said; what matters is where we choose to go from here and perfect or not, I want you.”

“You do?” Kara asked. She couldn’t quite believe it either.

“Yeah, I do,” Lena whispered. Kara hugged her as hard as she could without it being painful. Kara pulled away from the hug and smiled at Lena as if she was the world. Lena reached up to wipe the tear tracks from Kara’s cheeks and held her face. The love of the words did not match the pain and confusion on Lena’s face. “But how can you ever want me back?” 

“How could I not?”

“Kara, I tried to mind control the population of Earth because my best friend kept a reasonable secret from me. I can be a little excessive, and leaning into that darkness is my default setting. And I know it’s not entirely healthy to give in to these dark thoughts or walk the path that seems to incessantly call me, but it’s the only stable thing that I have ever known and there is a morbid comfort in the darkness,” Lena explained and Kara squeezed her hand a little harder. “I’m scared of who I could be because of that. I don’t want to be another Lex Luthor.”

“At the end of the day, we’re both just two women who want to be understood and accepted outside of the name that people see us as. I don't need us to be perfect. I just need us to try,” Kara said as she tucked an errant strand of hair behind Lena’s ear.

"What if I can't do it?" Lena whispered. Kara smiled and caressed Lena’s cheek.

"I know you can."

"How?"

"Because when I couldn't hold both halves of that plane up anymore, you chose to climb instead of giving in. You never give up, even if you do have occasionally questionable morality. You still question your morality, which is more than can be said about most, so I know you’ll continue to climb," Kara whispered, but Lena shook her head.

"Only because you were there."

"I'm still here, Lena."

"Even after everything?" 

"Hey, if we could get through all of that… we can get through anything. I never stopped believing in you. I believe in both of us."

“I want to believe,” Lena said and Kara grinned at her.

“So… you want to try to be together with me?” Kara asked and Lena chuckled. 

“Yes,” Lena whispered and Kara tilted Lena’s chin up. Kara didn’t verbally respond. She leaned in to gently nuzzle her nose against Lena’s before she pressed her lips to the red ones she’d thought about for the last four years. Her heart raced in tandem with Lena’s as their arms wrapped around each other. Lena’s hands tangled in Kara’s hair and Kara’s wrapped around Lena’s back to pull her into a standing position. 

“Well, I guess that explains what she dreamed about.”

Kara pulled away at the sound of Winn’s jab and glared through the blinds where he and Alex looked way too smug for her comfort. She blushed profusely as she cursed her hearing and used her superspeed to close the blinds. 

“Sorry,” Kara winced at having been caught by Winn and Alex but Lena wrapped her arms around Kara’s shoulders again and smiled. 

“It’s okay. Winn already knew how I felt about you, no matter how much I ignored or denied his insufferable accusations. Apparently, I am not as hard to read outside of a boardroom as I like to believe, and am what Winn referred to as a ‘chronic oversharer’.” 

“Well,” Kara said as she placed her hands on Lena’s waist. “Winn is pretty smart. And usually right.”

“Can’t deny that in this case,” Lena agreed, and she placed the palm of her hand over the symbol of Kara's chest. Stronger together. They were. Lena smiled and pressed up onto her toes but as soon as they were about to kiss once more, the med bay door opened.

“We’ve got a police chase on the I-95 and the driver says he’s got a bomb,” Alex interrupted and Kara looked apologetically at Lena who simply smiled and caressed her cheek. 

“Go get ‘em, Supergirl,” Lena said and Kara pecked her lips once more before she left her two most favourite people behind in a flurry of wind. 

Lena tried hard to hide how vulnerable it made her feel to be left alone with Alex. She'd expected a talk of some kind, so similar to the ones she'd already heard about how she wasn't good enough or didn't deserve such a good thing. But Lena looked at Alex and there was something even more terrifying. 

Alex smiled crookedly at her; completely open and receptive; as if she already knew Lena had given herself enough shovel talks for a lifetime. That simple understanding and acceptance in Alex’s eyes was scarier to Lena than any bar Alex could have made for her. 

Perhaps Lena read into the look too much, but regardless of if Alex wanted to tell her how amazing Kara was or not, Lena was up to the challenge of always trying for her and Kara to be enough for each other. Alex simply understood that Lena already knew and was willing to be there for Kara.

Kara and Lena understood, more than most, that there are no guarantees and that things are only ever temporary. That they might only last six months and completely destroy each other in the process, or they might be as good of a fit as both Kara and Lena hoped. All they’d ever asked from each other was to try, though, and Lena is sure she could be successful in that.


End file.
